First off…you will notice a lack of comic. The Secretary says she is not happy with the artwork. We have to believe her on this. Well, we know, first-hand, what a rotten job she does of drawing us.
Edited by The Secretary; black cats are bloody hard to draw!
Be that as it may, she is a slacker! Moving on…
We do love our chicken chews. What! You don’t know what chicken chews are? Good grief! All cats need to chew raw bones, to keep their teeth healthy and things like chicken necks and wings are fantastic! Also, the raw flesh is good for our digestive systems. That canned stuff is alright, but if we are not allowed to live as hunters…well,we need some help.
And this leads nicely to our title. Yes, I like the chewy bits of chicken wings, but Sporran goes absolutely ape! I wonder why they (the bi-peds) say that? Apes don’t eat a heckofalot of chickens.Anyway, Dinah used to give us a chicken chew around lunch time. But Sporran has decided (she may be slightly lightweight, but she’s definitely the boss!) that chew time is 11 am and no later!
And why not? We have our breakfast at 5am. 5 + 6 = 11. Yes, I can count. I am a cat, not an idiot! In my book, that’s near enough to lunchtime. And I was snoozing on the sofa when some bi-ped on the news was waffling on about advancing clocks in the hot season. Jolly good idea, I thought. Of course, being a smart species (feline. do try to keep up!) I took it a step[ further. (I did shoot for 10am, but was over-ruled by the Keeper of the Fridge.)
Me? I’m not so fussed. But Sporran always does the special squeak-meow when it’s chicken time. This is cat lingo and the bi-peds CANNOT make the same sound. Just saying.
We ‘d like to tell you a rather nice little (human-type) story…
Our friend, Luther the Black came to the end of his trail a while back. Sad for all his bi-peds, especially his lady, who had been his special bi-ped for a long time.
But don’t get all weepy and human. Good grief! Cats wouldn’t sniffle into a kerchief!
When Luther died, his people buried him in their garden. And, because there were miniature bi-peds in the family, they placed a small chair where the little ones could sit.
And one day, the Mother bi-ped heard the little boy, sitting on this chair, say:”I have to go now, Luther. I need to do a wee.”
Yes, bi-peds have much to learn from cats and miniatures.
It’s Hallowe’en tomorrow. The kids will be traipsing around the streets, looking for candy. Wait til they see what’s waiting at our house! Be afraid…